Ufond’s blog.
Of course, the birth of a sick child or a serious illness at an early age is a great stress for the whole family. Parents and other family members spend a lot of energy not only to overcome all the burdens of treatment, but also to worry about the future of the child. Think about whether your current emotions help your child overcome the disease. How does he feel about you? And what does he need now? The confidence that all these problems will end, that you will be stronger than all diseases, that he is needed, that his birth is happy, that you will be happy. This is the background emotional state you need to keep inside and talk to your baby, building a positive future (you will cope with the disease, we will go home, you are waiting ..., etc.). You can’t afford to be weak. You can handle it.Because various prejudices are still strong in modern society, many parents perceive their child’s illness as a personal punishment. In addition, spouses often blame themselves and each other for what happened. If the disease was detected during pregnancy, the mother of the child is very difficult to cope with feelings and thoughts about the future of her child. Whenever a diagnosis is made, it is a very difficult period. We can say that this is a real test of the strength of the family and relationships with loved ones.
A child’s illness, like any grief in a person’s life, requires strength and respect. Families in which grief has not been properly addressed run the risk of mental health problems. Because all people are different, families cope differently with the misfortune that befalls them.
First of all, all family members should be aware of how the situation affects them. The most common among families struggling for the life of a small person is burnout. Not knowing how to deal with it, family members are often ashamed of being "tired" or "ready to give up." It is important to remember that burnout is a normal manifestation of fatigue, and all people are exposed to it from time to time.
Because all attention and care is focused on the sick child, other children in the family may lack parental affection. It is important to pay attention to all children.
Many families, especially mothers, literally lose all interest in living with a child’s illness. However, spending time together is very important for all family members. In addition, each family member should pay attention to themselves. Many, especially mothers, neglect themselves, and this has a negative effect on the emotional state.
During the period of illness, it is necessary to focus the child’s attention not on what he can not, but on what he is able to do. It is necessary to encourage the efforts of the child. Parents must not forget and maintain a healthy balance between praise and discipline. Another common mistake: parents often compare their child with other sick children. This is incorrect. Children, like adults, differ from each other in many genetic, physiological and psychological parameters, so the reaction of each child to the disease will be strictly individual.
Many families are afraid to even mention a child’s illness. However, a child, especially at the age of 6-9, when movement is in fact equivalent to life, can conclude from parental silence that his illness is fatal. Therefore, it is necessary to talk to the child about his diagnosis according to age.
The most important thing is never to lie to a child about his illness. In case of recurrence, there is a risk of losing hope and questioning the effectiveness of treatment. First of all, family members must go through the stages of denial and anger, and only then can they move to the stage of acceptance.
However, people often get stuck in one of the stages, which negatively affects the atmosphere in the family, which often leads to its disintegration.
Parents can unknowingly distance themselves from their children, because on a subconscious level they are preparing to lose them. And this is the first and most important mistake. In these cases, the support of friends and loved ones who have gone through the same thing, as well as professional psychologists can be of great help.
It is important that all family members do their best to overcome this difficult time. It is important to remember that the questions "why me?" or "why did this happen to my child?" there is no answer, there is only a life task that needs to be solved together.
04/23/2017 Ufond’s wards can be helped here:
http://ufond.ua/7