Life. To be continued. Little teacher
Physical vulnerability is not an obstacle to the firmness of the
parents’ spirit - an example for a child. It would seem that this golden rule of pedagogy is known and familiar to all. But in it, as it happens in life, there are exceptions - sometimes it can be the other way around. Sometimes children by their example can teach us adults a lot. And this story is about a little teacher and his great students.
The doctors were preparing the Badikov family, Kateryna and Tymofiya, for future difficulties even before the birth of their Mykytka , when they noticed a possible heart defect on a routine ultrasound.
"Yes, we were informed about a possible diagnosis, but we did not want to believe in it until the end, we forbade ourselves to think about it. We pushed thoughts of something bad away from us. We believed and hoped that our baby would definitely be big! ”Says Nikita’s mother, Kateryna Badikova.
The doctors were right, no miracle happened: the boy was born with a heart defect and after the first month of life he already knew what surgery was. Yes, most children at this time receive a completely different baggage of knowledge and experience. But each of us has his own plans in life and his own way of their realization ...
"After the first operation, Nikita and I spent 5.5 months in intensive care. It was difficult. It is difficult to realize that such a small and weak child needs so many drugs, drips, which are continuously connected to numerous catheters throughout the day ... There were five of us, such difficult patients, in the intensive care unit of the Yemets Cardiology Center. Five families who have become very friendly with each other for almost six months and have been a support group for each other, ”Kateryna recalls.
After the long-awaited discharge for both parents and the baby began a new stage of mastering specific knowledge and skills - the stage of life with a tracheostomy ( tube in the trachea to carry out the process of respiration - Ufond ). She was placed temporarily during the first heart operation. But "temporarily" lasted for 4 years.
"When the time came for the second planned heart operation (since 3 surgeries are needed to remove the heart defect), Nikita was up to two years old. Due to the fact that we have a lot of individual characteristics, and there are few specialists in such issues in Ukraine, my husband and I decided to look for a solution abroad. They found a clinic in Israel to deal with tracheal problems, an otolaryngologist who had experience with tracheostomy. We rejoiced in the hope that everything would work out. Since the operation was planned in several stages, it was also possible to pay in installments. They collected a third of the amount (the total amount was huge - about $ 35,000) and flew to Israel. They rented an apartment, prepared Nikita for the operation: they underwent preoperative doctor’s consultations, very expensive tests ... By the way, he was the first to feel that something was wrong. He was capricious and anxious. After his doubts, my husband and I became wary. And not for nothing - soon, in the evening, we received a call from the clinic and refused: Israeli doctors changed their minds to perform surgery because of the basic diagnosis of the heart because patients like Nikita are at risk of even anesthesia.
Then the geography of possible treatment options in the family was impressive: a clinic in Turkey, a doctor from France, a silicone stent company in America, correspondence with parents who have a similar problem, from Kazakhstan ... Besides, after a while it became clear that the child completely lost his hearing due to intensive medical treatment. But Nikita bravely accepted this and tried his best, in his own way, childishly, to explain to his parents that everything would be fine: "Mom, Dad, everything is fine!" he said silently.
"I remember the day we were discharged from the hospital after a cochlear implant was placed on the first ear. We got in the car and exchanged glances with my husband - there was one phrase in his eyes: "Well, let’s try?" They quietly turned on the music ... and ... Nikita reacted immediately! At first surprised, and then with interest! It turns out that he is a music lover! Although, the sense of rhythm came, of course, not on the first day after the connection, but much later, a few months later, ”Kateryna continues to share her memories.
At the age of 2.5, Nikita was just beginning to learn to hear the world around him. But the parents also learned to hear in their own way. First, to hear and listen to the child, and secondly, they noticed, it turns out, they are surrounded in everyday life by so many different noise and sound effects, which previously did not notice, did not pay attention, did not react, but thanks to Nikita learned to recognize that some of them even had to be rethought.
A year later , Nikita put a cochlear implant on the second ear.
"Now his hearing is almost level. And he is already used to the tracheostomy. Sometimes he uses it as a manipulation of his parents, as if he had recently overcome the crisis of three years. Despite the fact that he is a child and we are parents, the priority of who teaches whom has shifted towards Nikita. From the moment he was born, I kept asking myself: Why did this happen? What am I guilty of? What have I done wrong in my life? For what? I treated my son like a victim to be pitied and panicked. But, at some point, it was Nikita who made it clear that he is the same child as all children, only with its temporary features. And he does not need parental pity and unconditional round-the-clock care, but support and love. When Nikita is bleeding, it is very scary and very critical: he loses a lot of blood and needs to react very quickly - sometimes, the bill goes for seconds. But my husband and I try not to panic, but to do everything in our power. It will pass. And this, Nikita tells me in his own language. This is his way. My task is to help him go this way, to support him. He taught my husband and me to respond properly to difficulties, methodically and calmly cope with another attack. He taught us not to be afraid. "
On December 25, Nikita turned four years old. At the end of January he will have a planned, final heart operation, after which he will finally be able to remove the tracheostomy. At the age of four, he already has vast life experience and a deep understanding of things that sometimes remain a mystery to us adults. Nikita is a very inquisitive, cheerful, kind and intelligent boy. He loves classes with deaf educators and logarithmics. Although it is still rare to visit them, his efforts do not go unnoticed - teachers unanimously declare: "A very promising boy!"
Nikita knows that if it’s hard, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible - for example, even with a tracheostomy you can learn to pronounce sounds and understand how the vocal cords work.
Author Kateryna Stebelska
Photo Anna Zagorska
Read also: Life. Next will be. Hear life
parents’ spirit - an example for a child. It would seem that this golden rule of pedagogy is known and familiar to all. But in it, as it happens in life, there are exceptions - sometimes it can be the other way around. Sometimes children by their example can teach us adults a lot. And this story is about a little teacher and his great students.
The doctors were preparing the Badikov family, Kateryna and Tymofiya, for future difficulties even before the birth of their Mykytka , when they noticed a possible heart defect on a routine ultrasound.
"Yes, we were informed about a possible diagnosis, but we did not want to believe in it until the end, we forbade ourselves to think about it. We pushed thoughts of something bad away from us. We believed and hoped that our baby would definitely be big! ”Says Nikita’s mother, Kateryna Badikova.
The doctors were right, no miracle happened: the boy was born with a heart defect and after the first month of life he already knew what surgery was. Yes, most children at this time receive a completely different baggage of knowledge and experience. But each of us has his own plans in life and his own way of their realization ...
"After the first operation, Nikita and I spent 5.5 months in intensive care. It was difficult. It is difficult to realize that such a small and weak child needs so many drugs, drips, which are continuously connected to numerous catheters throughout the day ... There were five of us, such difficult patients, in the intensive care unit of the Yemets Cardiology Center. Five families who have become very friendly with each other for almost six months and have been a support group for each other, ”Kateryna recalls. After the long-awaited discharge for both parents and the baby began a new stage of mastering specific knowledge and skills - the stage of life with a tracheostomy ( tube in the trachea to carry out the process of respiration - Ufond ). She was placed temporarily during the first heart operation. But "temporarily" lasted for 4 years.
"When the time came for the second planned heart operation (since 3 surgeries are needed to remove the heart defect), Nikita was up to two years old. Due to the fact that we have a lot of individual characteristics, and there are few specialists in such issues in Ukraine, my husband and I decided to look for a solution abroad. They found a clinic in Israel to deal with tracheal problems, an otolaryngologist who had experience with tracheostomy. We rejoiced in the hope that everything would work out. Since the operation was planned in several stages, it was also possible to pay in installments. They collected a third of the amount (the total amount was huge - about $ 35,000) and flew to Israel. They rented an apartment, prepared Nikita for the operation: they underwent preoperative doctor’s consultations, very expensive tests ... By the way, he was the first to feel that something was wrong. He was capricious and anxious. After his doubts, my husband and I became wary. And not for nothing - soon, in the evening, we received a call from the clinic and refused: Israeli doctors changed their minds to perform surgery because of the basic diagnosis of the heart because patients like Nikita are at risk of even anesthesia.
Then the geography of possible treatment options in the family was impressive: a clinic in Turkey, a doctor from France, a silicone stent company in America, correspondence with parents who have a similar problem, from Kazakhstan ... Besides, after a while it became clear that the child completely lost his hearing due to intensive medical treatment. But Nikita bravely accepted this and tried his best, in his own way, childishly, to explain to his parents that everything would be fine: "Mom, Dad, everything is fine!" he said silently.
"I remember the day we were discharged from the hospital after a cochlear implant was placed on the first ear. We got in the car and exchanged glances with my husband - there was one phrase in his eyes: "Well, let’s try?" They quietly turned on the music ... and ... Nikita reacted immediately! At first surprised, and then with interest! It turns out that he is a music lover! Although, the sense of rhythm came, of course, not on the first day after the connection, but much later, a few months later, ”Kateryna continues to share her memories.
At the age of 2.5, Nikita was just beginning to learn to hear the world around him. But the parents also learned to hear in their own way. First, to hear and listen to the child, and secondly, they noticed, it turns out, they are surrounded in everyday life by so many different noise and sound effects, which previously did not notice, did not pay attention, did not react, but thanks to Nikita learned to recognize that some of them even had to be rethought.
A year later , Nikita put a cochlear implant on the second ear.
"Now his hearing is almost level. And he is already used to the tracheostomy. Sometimes he uses it as a manipulation of his parents, as if he had recently overcome the crisis of three years. Despite the fact that he is a child and we are parents, the priority of who teaches whom has shifted towards Nikita. From the moment he was born, I kept asking myself: Why did this happen? What am I guilty of? What have I done wrong in my life? For what? I treated my son like a victim to be pitied and panicked. But, at some point, it was Nikita who made it clear that he is the same child as all children, only with its temporary features. And he does not need parental pity and unconditional round-the-clock care, but support and love. When Nikita is bleeding, it is very scary and very critical: he loses a lot of blood and needs to react very quickly - sometimes, the bill goes for seconds. But my husband and I try not to panic, but to do everything in our power. It will pass. And this, Nikita tells me in his own language. This is his way. My task is to help him go this way, to support him. He taught my husband and me to respond properly to difficulties, methodically and calmly cope with another attack. He taught us not to be afraid. "
On December 25, Nikita turned four years old. At the end of January he will have a planned, final heart operation, after which he will finally be able to remove the tracheostomy. At the age of four, he already has vast life experience and a deep understanding of things that sometimes remain a mystery to us adults. Nikita is a very inquisitive, cheerful, kind and intelligent boy. He loves classes with deaf educators and logarithmics. Although it is still rare to visit them, his efforts do not go unnoticed - teachers unanimously declare: "A very promising boy!"
Nikita knows that if it’s hard, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible - for example, even with a tracheostomy you can learn to pronounce sounds and understand how the vocal cords work. Author Kateryna Stebelska
Photo Anna Zagorska
Read also: Life. Next will be. Hear life