Special report: other people’s stories. Sunny mom
We continue a series of publications dedicated to special children - children who for various reasons are called just that. It does not matter which child is gifted or, conversely, with limited development, but he will always be special to others…
Have you ever wondered what the world looks like in the eyes of a child with Down syndrome? Maybe it’s something that is moving incredibly soon with an unknown purpose? ... And lost in this chaos, the child feels defenseless… Yes, children with Down syndrome have their own special, slow biological clock. Their intellect matures later, the body grows longer, the bones develop more slowly, and life-threatening vicious holes often fail to heal in the heart. But the frequency of such babies is high: about one and seven hundred mothers learn that their long-awaited child will be born with Down syndrome. Now the disease of the "extra chromosome" is diagnosed in the early stages of pregnancy and nine out of ten women, learning about the diagnosis, decide to terminate it. And those who still give birth, mostly leave babies in maternity hospitals at the suggestion of doctors.
Sunny mom.
Children with Down Syndrome have the nickname "Sunny Children", they are always affectionate, smiling and non-aggressive. But in Katya’s family, a huge part of the sunshine belongs to her. Tanned, strong, smiling, she radiates vitality to all her beings, and in her appearance, quite European, something orientally colorful is imperceptibly felt. Yes, she does not hide that of all the philosophies of the world, she chose for herself one of the most ancient and life-affirming, Hindu, and lives in the understanding that every event has a cause and effect, and foolishly blame the problems of chance, failure or fate. All this is "karma", that is, everything is natural and wonderful. Katya also looks at her children as a miracle and a gift of destiny. She says: sometimes at night my husband and I listen to three of our babies fall asleep and say to ourselves: how can it be Eight years ago there were only two of us, and now there are five of us! Isn’t this a miracle ?!
Katya reluctantly remembers her first marriage: she lived in it for eight years, but the thought of having a child never appeared, the relationship developed tensely and she did not have to expect her husband to become a good father. Another thing - Anton! From the first minutes Katya felt both masculine maturity and paternal care in him, with him, it seemed, it is possible to survive any storm of life. The young man got his own room in the apartment of his husband’s parents, and soon a cot was installed in it: the firstborn David was born. And when David was three years old, a second son appeared.
Katya does not blame her soul: when she, a pregnant woman, was told that there was a suspicion of the child’s illness, she hesitated: to leave him or not. I read that in families with such children, dads can’t stand worries, they leave. But everything was wrong with them, and her husband insisted on saving the baby, and he chose a rare and melodic Slavic name for his son "Milan" - "dear to the people"… Immediately after birth it became clear that Milan has two serious heart defects : the atrial septum did not grow together and the Batalov channel did not close. But even with these life-threatening diagnoses of the child managed to cope: one and a half years old Milan with funds raised by the Fund ,successfully operated (thanks to all Ufond donors!), and now the annual mandatory examination only confirms - the child’s heart is absolutely healthy; as his mother says, "at least fly into space."
From the very birth of Milan, Katya did not evaluate him as an ordinary healthy child, she tried not to compare with David, on the contrary, she was determined to be satisfied with the minimum success of the baby. Therefore, when Milan learned to walk, eat on their own, say "mom" and "dad" Katya perceived this as a great success of her undoubtedly capable son. Well, that the baby is developing a little slower than usual, but, as his mother says, he is "mega-imaginative and advanced." Milan used to have a habit of turning things out of an open closet, so that the room turned into a landfill. And now he allows himself to do so only occasionally, as gourmet entertainment. He has learned to cheat naively and in the evenings, when he does not want to sleep, he comes up with ways to deceive his parents and not go to bed. Milan is a strong-willed and purposeful child and still gestures to make it clear how he wants to act, and what he categorically does not intend to do. And, like any boy, he loves to watch cartoons and arrange mini-battles with Dad, good thing, for this purpose, the men in Katya’s house have foam swords, and her "knights" are very good at them!
Milan also showed its first talents. So far, Katya only admires them in a motherly way, but maybe in the future they will benefit him: the boy has an incredibly flexible body, and he easily sits on the cross twine and also, playing, pulls his leg to his head. And they have fun with Dad: Milan climbs on his shoulder and, balancing on it like a rope, stands. And when Dad throws him behind his back, he hangs upside down in bliss. "He will be a gymnast, even if he goes to the circus," jokes Katya. There is no place in the inclusive kindergarten recommended by him, and parents have to consider a compromise, less acceptable option. Katya is also afraid of that her boy used to communicate only with healthy children, and in a specialized garden will be surrounded by children with obvious external problems. And children with Down syndrome have cyclical thinking, easily copy and record the behavior of others. But this is a common problem of all families with special children: abroad, the socialization of children with Down syndrome and autism is based on the latest techniques, in small groups, we have, alas, have to be content with a system introduced in Soviet times.
However, while the family is dealing with another pressing problem: their eight-month-old baby Chantal, Milan’s younger sister, was diagnosed with a rare form of vasculitis, and Katya and her daughter settled in the dermatology department of the children’s hospital for a long time. But here, too, Katya’s cheerful nature and her positive attitude in the fight against her daughter’s illness do their good deed: doctors are extremely attentive, take a keen interest in their little patient, and after a thorough diagnosis prescribe productive treatment.
Katya admits that during her stay in the hospital she got used to her silence, while her father, who stayed on the farm, got used to dealing with two poor and active boys on his own. But the children really miss their sunny and cheerful mother, they miss her so much that David decided to give his mother a toy in the hospital - to look at her and remember her sons! What will happen next? ... Katya realizes that her son’s development will go "up the steps", and it will take them much longer to overcome these steps than ordinary children, the "period of harm" and other periods of childhood will last longer. adulthood. But Katya is ready for this, she says: “I don’t want my children to copy me or my father. They must be themselves, not quarrel, love each other and stick together. We teach them that we are always and in everything - one whole, one family ". She already understood that her child with Down syndrome is able to communicate and be happy. Perceiving the world not by reason but by feelings, he will be even more devoted than ordinary people, devoted and learn to love sincerely in a special way.
Photo by Anna Zagorskaya
Have you ever wondered what the world looks like in the eyes of a child with Down syndrome? Maybe it’s something that is moving incredibly soon with an unknown purpose? ... And lost in this chaos, the child feels defenseless… Yes, children with Down syndrome have their own special, slow biological clock. Their intellect matures later, the body grows longer, the bones develop more slowly, and life-threatening vicious holes often fail to heal in the heart. But the frequency of such babies is high: about one and seven hundred mothers learn that their long-awaited child will be born with Down syndrome. Now the disease of the "extra chromosome" is diagnosed in the early stages of pregnancy and nine out of ten women, learning about the diagnosis, decide to terminate it. And those who still give birth, mostly leave babies in maternity hospitals at the suggestion of doctors.
Sunny mom.
Children with Down Syndrome have the nickname "Sunny Children", they are always affectionate, smiling and non-aggressive. But in Katya’s family, a huge part of the sunshine belongs to her. Tanned, strong, smiling, she radiates vitality to all her beings, and in her appearance, quite European, something orientally colorful is imperceptibly felt. Yes, she does not hide that of all the philosophies of the world, she chose for herself one of the most ancient and life-affirming, Hindu, and lives in the understanding that every event has a cause and effect, and foolishly blame the problems of chance, failure or fate. All this is "karma", that is, everything is natural and wonderful. Katya also looks at her children as a miracle and a gift of destiny. She says: sometimes at night my husband and I listen to three of our babies fall asleep and say to ourselves: how can it be Eight years ago there were only two of us, and now there are five of us! Isn’t this a miracle ?!
Katya reluctantly remembers her first marriage: she lived in it for eight years, but the thought of having a child never appeared, the relationship developed tensely and she did not have to expect her husband to become a good father. Another thing - Anton! From the first minutes Katya felt both masculine maturity and paternal care in him, with him, it seemed, it is possible to survive any storm of life. The young man got his own room in the apartment of his husband’s parents, and soon a cot was installed in it: the firstborn David was born. And when David was three years old, a second son appeared.
Katya does not blame her soul: when she, a pregnant woman, was told that there was a suspicion of the child’s illness, she hesitated: to leave him or not. I read that in families with such children, dads can’t stand worries, they leave. But everything was wrong with them, and her husband insisted on saving the baby, and he chose a rare and melodic Slavic name for his son "Milan" - "dear to the people"… Immediately after birth it became clear that Milan has two serious heart defects : the atrial septum did not grow together and the Batalov channel did not close. But even with these life-threatening diagnoses of the child managed to cope: one and a half years old Milan with funds raised by the Fund ,successfully operated (thanks to all Ufond donors!), and now the annual mandatory examination only confirms - the child’s heart is absolutely healthy; as his mother says, "at least fly into space."
From the very birth of Milan, Katya did not evaluate him as an ordinary healthy child, she tried not to compare with David, on the contrary, she was determined to be satisfied with the minimum success of the baby. Therefore, when Milan learned to walk, eat on their own, say "mom" and "dad" Katya perceived this as a great success of her undoubtedly capable son. Well, that the baby is developing a little slower than usual, but, as his mother says, he is "mega-imaginative and advanced." Milan used to have a habit of turning things out of an open closet, so that the room turned into a landfill. And now he allows himself to do so only occasionally, as gourmet entertainment. He has learned to cheat naively and in the evenings, when he does not want to sleep, he comes up with ways to deceive his parents and not go to bed. Milan is a strong-willed and purposeful child and still gestures to make it clear how he wants to act, and what he categorically does not intend to do. And, like any boy, he loves to watch cartoons and arrange mini-battles with Dad, good thing, for this purpose, the men in Katya’s house have foam swords, and her "knights" are very good at them!
Milan also showed its first talents. So far, Katya only admires them in a motherly way, but maybe in the future they will benefit him: the boy has an incredibly flexible body, and he easily sits on the cross twine and also, playing, pulls his leg to his head. And they have fun with Dad: Milan climbs on his shoulder and, balancing on it like a rope, stands. And when Dad throws him behind his back, he hangs upside down in bliss. "He will be a gymnast, even if he goes to the circus," jokes Katya. There is no place in the inclusive kindergarten recommended by him, and parents have to consider a compromise, less acceptable option. Katya is also afraid of that her boy used to communicate only with healthy children, and in a specialized garden will be surrounded by children with obvious external problems. And children with Down syndrome have cyclical thinking, easily copy and record the behavior of others. But this is a common problem of all families with special children: abroad, the socialization of children with Down syndrome and autism is based on the latest techniques, in small groups, we have, alas, have to be content with a system introduced in Soviet times.
However, while the family is dealing with another pressing problem: their eight-month-old baby Chantal, Milan’s younger sister, was diagnosed with a rare form of vasculitis, and Katya and her daughter settled in the dermatology department of the children’s hospital for a long time. But here, too, Katya’s cheerful nature and her positive attitude in the fight against her daughter’s illness do their good deed: doctors are extremely attentive, take a keen interest in their little patient, and after a thorough diagnosis prescribe productive treatment.
Katya admits that during her stay in the hospital she got used to her silence, while her father, who stayed on the farm, got used to dealing with two poor and active boys on his own. But the children really miss their sunny and cheerful mother, they miss her so much that David decided to give his mother a toy in the hospital - to look at her and remember her sons! What will happen next? ... Katya realizes that her son’s development will go "up the steps", and it will take them much longer to overcome these steps than ordinary children, the "period of harm" and other periods of childhood will last longer. adulthood. But Katya is ready for this, she says: “I don’t want my children to copy me or my father. They must be themselves, not quarrel, love each other and stick together. We teach them that we are always and in everything - one whole, one family ". She already understood that her child with Down syndrome is able to communicate and be happy. Perceiving the world not by reason but by feelings, he will be even more devoted than ordinary people, devoted and learn to love sincerely in a special way.
Photo by Anna Zagorskaya