Special report: other people’s stories.
We are starting a series of publications dedicated to special children - children who are called that for a variety of reasons. It does not matter which child is gifted or, conversely, with limited development, but he will always be special to others…
Children are the most valuable thing that can be in our lives. They are so different, but they have one thing in common - the need for parental affection, love, development and self-improvement.
Autism is now heard by many, although few people really understand what a mental disorder it is and what it leads to. However, this was previously a rare and difficult to diagnose developmental disorder, now it is recognized in every 100 children. In short, autism is a lifelong developmental disorder that affects communication and relationships with others, as well as the perception and understanding of the world around us.. It is an immersion in one’s own, special, detached world, in which life flows, perhaps more slowly, contacts with others are more difficult, and interests are narrowly focused on certain, sometimes strange, subjects. In such a worldview - at the same time the vulnerability and genius of autism, truly understand and accept which can only be with unlimited patience. However, it is very useful in raising children and in an ordinary family.
With the story of Timothy, a nine-year-old autistic boy and his mother Olga Ladna, we open a series of publications about special children and their families. These will be stories about small victories over autism, epilepsy, Down syndrome. Stories about love, tenderness, the struggle for happiness, acceptance of the child, peace and oneself. Sincere stories about the joys of life that we may have forgotten to see and appreciate…
AIRCRAFT OF HAPPINESS.
Imagine: the doors open and in the stream of light you are greeted by an airplane, paper, rolled up from a notebook page, with uneven doodles "on board": "Mommy, I love you very much. You are very beautiful. You, like me, have brown eyes. I miss you. I love and kiss. " And you open your arms to meet your favorite nine-year-old miracle and feel like the happiest mother in the world.
When Timofey was born in 2008, Olya Ladnaya was just learning to be a wife and mother: the baby was the firstborn, and the couple’s pancake went into a coma, and she had to separate from her husband in the first year of marriage. But Tima stayed, and at night Olya, looking at her son’s sleeping face, dreamed of how her baby would study at school and university, make a brilliant career and everything would be like everyone else’s, and maybe even better.
Tima grew up and together with his mother got used to this noisy and incomprehensible adult world: he learned to walk, choose and say the right words. But at times Olya was still overcome by anxiety: her son did not look into his eyes, called words abruptly and did not seek to connect them with each other, never asked for food or drink, could not tell his mother that he was sick or sick. But he could approach a stranger and take his hand like a relative, or, conversely, start screaming in fear, he could snatch his hand from his mother’s palm and run straight to the roadway, under the wheels of cars. Olya rebuked herself for her son’s developmental delay and wrong upbringing, and waited: Timofey will grow up and everything will be formed.
But in the development of the child there was an increasing regression…
At the age of three, Olya still showed her son to the doctor, and he, as if reading her most frightened thoughts, said: "You know that with your child, your son has autism." The word once crossed her mind, she knew that autism was an incurable genetic mental illness, but there was catastrophically little information about it at the time, and the diagnosis sounded like a death sentence to all dreams and hopes. The future presented Ola with a series of joyless and gloomy days. She felt that she had lost her son, and at times tormented herself with a terrible thought: will Timothy ever understand that she is his mother, will he distinguish her in the crowd of strangers? Olya was also horrified by the fact that at first her parents did not notice any special changes in the child, they could not understand the depth of her unhappiness. She had to realize and accept the new truth one-on-one with adversity.
However, Olya could not indulge in depression. When Tima’s autism became known, she was three months pregnant. By that time, Olya had started a new family and, knowing Tima’s diagnosis earlier, she would hardly have decided to have a child. But everything turned out for the better: the second son - Stas - was born big, and became a loyal friend and an excellent educator of his older brother. Oli’s new husband did not see much trouble in Tima’s illness. Growing up, Stas demanded his older brother’s attention every minute, loved him, fought with him, followed him by the tail, and, without knowing it, "socialized" Tim better than all sorts of scientific methods. And when the younger Miroslava was born, another Timin "educator" appeared in the family and the object of his great love.
From the moment she was diagnosed, Olya started looking for information and people who would help her develop the child’s speech and socialize him. Two years later, she founded the community of mothers of special children "We are together", uniting families raising children with autism, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, Down’s disease. The women shared their experience of treatment in correctional centers. Olya, a marketer by profession, applied her work skills to the community: organizing seminars and webinars for mothers, looking for medical centers that could help their babies, arranging developmental workshops for children, collecting reviews of specialists. She realized her long-held dream: she organized an exhibition of photo-portraits of happy mothers of special children.
And Tim began to change before his eyes: step by step he was getting out of the shell of isolation. Meaningful speech returned, the alphabet was easily learned and, albeit with great difficulty, but still mastered the account. Now Tim has finished the first grade, so far in a boarding school for children with severe speech disorders. But next year, Timothy will move to a regular school, an inclusive classroom. Contrary to fears and anxious expectations, the boy turned out to be remarkably clever: "almost encyclopedist" says Olya with quiet pride. He loves nature and can call "by name" a lot of beetles, perfectly remembers the names of countries and cities, learned to read before the middle brother and does it fluently. Of course, Tima’s talents do not develop without Olina’s pedagogical tricks: she knows how and what to motivate the child, she works with him at home ahead of the school program, so that she doesn’t get lost in Tim’s class. and it was easier for him to answer. Teachers note the special inner concentration of the child, because, even absent-mindedly looking out the window, he manages to follow the theme of the lesson.
And Tim is an extraordinarily sincere boy, you won’t hear the usual boyish flattery from him, and to the question: "How did you like the lesson or the master class?" - you risk hearing the truest answer. He is slowly getting used to the world of social contacts, which is alien to an autistic person, he can approach another child, say hello, and offer to catch up. However, the real friendship - with acquaintance and common mutual interests - so far for Tima remains something like higher mathematics. But over time, the boy will learn some of it.
Tima grows up in a big friendly family next to her brother and sister, and it is much easier to learn to be friends with them, to love, to cope with negative emotions. And my mother is studying with Tima. Olya Ladnaya jokingly admits: “My son is the best coach of personal growth. He changed me in everything, taught me to look at things differently, to appreciate every moment, to understand that far-reaching plans are not always what comes true. And solve problems as they come. He taught me to observe, to think critically, to change my behavior, to let everything through me. " And to dream of such simple and special things: that the son grew up with a smile on his face. Believe me: this is enough for sincere happiness…
Children are the most valuable thing that can be in our lives. They are so different, but they have one thing in common - the need for parental affection, love, development and self-improvement.
Autism is now heard by many, although few people really understand what a mental disorder it is and what it leads to. However, this was previously a rare and difficult to diagnose developmental disorder, now it is recognized in every 100 children. In short, autism is a lifelong developmental disorder that affects communication and relationships with others, as well as the perception and understanding of the world around us.. It is an immersion in one’s own, special, detached world, in which life flows, perhaps more slowly, contacts with others are more difficult, and interests are narrowly focused on certain, sometimes strange, subjects. In such a worldview - at the same time the vulnerability and genius of autism, truly understand and accept which can only be with unlimited patience. However, it is very useful in raising children and in an ordinary family.
With the story of Timothy, a nine-year-old autistic boy and his mother Olga Ladna, we open a series of publications about special children and their families. These will be stories about small victories over autism, epilepsy, Down syndrome. Stories about love, tenderness, the struggle for happiness, acceptance of the child, peace and oneself. Sincere stories about the joys of life that we may have forgotten to see and appreciate…
AIRCRAFT OF HAPPINESS.
Imagine: the doors open and in the stream of light you are greeted by an airplane, paper, rolled up from a notebook page, with uneven doodles "on board": "Mommy, I love you very much. You are very beautiful. You, like me, have brown eyes. I miss you. I love and kiss. " And you open your arms to meet your favorite nine-year-old miracle and feel like the happiest mother in the world.
When Timofey was born in 2008, Olya Ladnaya was just learning to be a wife and mother: the baby was the firstborn, and the couple’s pancake went into a coma, and she had to separate from her husband in the first year of marriage. But Tima stayed, and at night Olya, looking at her son’s sleeping face, dreamed of how her baby would study at school and university, make a brilliant career and everything would be like everyone else’s, and maybe even better.
Tima grew up and together with his mother got used to this noisy and incomprehensible adult world: he learned to walk, choose and say the right words. But at times Olya was still overcome by anxiety: her son did not look into his eyes, called words abruptly and did not seek to connect them with each other, never asked for food or drink, could not tell his mother that he was sick or sick. But he could approach a stranger and take his hand like a relative, or, conversely, start screaming in fear, he could snatch his hand from his mother’s palm and run straight to the roadway, under the wheels of cars. Olya rebuked herself for her son’s developmental delay and wrong upbringing, and waited: Timofey will grow up and everything will be formed.
But in the development of the child there was an increasing regression…
At the age of three, Olya still showed her son to the doctor, and he, as if reading her most frightened thoughts, said: "You know that with your child, your son has autism." The word once crossed her mind, she knew that autism was an incurable genetic mental illness, but there was catastrophically little information about it at the time, and the diagnosis sounded like a death sentence to all dreams and hopes. The future presented Ola with a series of joyless and gloomy days. She felt that she had lost her son, and at times tormented herself with a terrible thought: will Timothy ever understand that she is his mother, will he distinguish her in the crowd of strangers? Olya was also horrified by the fact that at first her parents did not notice any special changes in the child, they could not understand the depth of her unhappiness. She had to realize and accept the new truth one-on-one with adversity.
However, Olya could not indulge in depression. When Tima’s autism became known, she was three months pregnant. By that time, Olya had started a new family and, knowing Tima’s diagnosis earlier, she would hardly have decided to have a child. But everything turned out for the better: the second son - Stas - was born big, and became a loyal friend and an excellent educator of his older brother. Oli’s new husband did not see much trouble in Tima’s illness. Growing up, Stas demanded his older brother’s attention every minute, loved him, fought with him, followed him by the tail, and, without knowing it, "socialized" Tim better than all sorts of scientific methods. And when the younger Miroslava was born, another Timin "educator" appeared in the family and the object of his great love.
From the moment she was diagnosed, Olya started looking for information and people who would help her develop the child’s speech and socialize him. Two years later, she founded the community of mothers of special children "We are together", uniting families raising children with autism, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, Down’s disease. The women shared their experience of treatment in correctional centers. Olya, a marketer by profession, applied her work skills to the community: organizing seminars and webinars for mothers, looking for medical centers that could help their babies, arranging developmental workshops for children, collecting reviews of specialists. She realized her long-held dream: she organized an exhibition of photo-portraits of happy mothers of special children.
And Tim began to change before his eyes: step by step he was getting out of the shell of isolation. Meaningful speech returned, the alphabet was easily learned and, albeit with great difficulty, but still mastered the account. Now Tim has finished the first grade, so far in a boarding school for children with severe speech disorders. But next year, Timothy will move to a regular school, an inclusive classroom. Contrary to fears and anxious expectations, the boy turned out to be remarkably clever: "almost encyclopedist" says Olya with quiet pride. He loves nature and can call "by name" a lot of beetles, perfectly remembers the names of countries and cities, learned to read before the middle brother and does it fluently. Of course, Tima’s talents do not develop without Olina’s pedagogical tricks: she knows how and what to motivate the child, she works with him at home ahead of the school program, so that she doesn’t get lost in Tim’s class. and it was easier for him to answer. Teachers note the special inner concentration of the child, because, even absent-mindedly looking out the window, he manages to follow the theme of the lesson.
And Tim is an extraordinarily sincere boy, you won’t hear the usual boyish flattery from him, and to the question: "How did you like the lesson or the master class?" - you risk hearing the truest answer. He is slowly getting used to the world of social contacts, which is alien to an autistic person, he can approach another child, say hello, and offer to catch up. However, the real friendship - with acquaintance and common mutual interests - so far for Tima remains something like higher mathematics. But over time, the boy will learn some of it.
Tima grows up in a big friendly family next to her brother and sister, and it is much easier to learn to be friends with them, to love, to cope with negative emotions. And my mother is studying with Tima. Olya Ladnaya jokingly admits: “My son is the best coach of personal growth. He changed me in everything, taught me to look at things differently, to appreciate every moment, to understand that far-reaching plans are not always what comes true. And solve problems as they come. He taught me to observe, to think critically, to change my behavior, to let everything through me. " And to dream of such simple and special things: that the son grew up with a smile on his face. Believe me: this is enough for sincere happiness…