On February 15, the world celebrates the day of a child with cancer. And the main task of this day is to convey information about the curability of cancer. Both in the world and in Ukraine. Every year the number of cancer patients grows, moreover, cancer is "getting younger". Of course, everyone thinks that this cannot happen to him or his relatives. But, sadly, this sometimes happens.
Psychologists have concluded that on the way between diagnosis and acceptance of the disease, cancer patients go through several stages. To tell the truth, it is so, but not everyone can realize and accept even such a simple truth. What happens to a person during the illness, how to help him accept the diagnosis and find the strength to fight?
Denial.
"I don’t have cancer, they’re wrong…"
The first stage. The stage when the person who heard the diagnosis thinks that the doctors are wrong and the diagnosis is wrong.
Usually this stage is inherent in people who embark on the path of examination and preliminary diagnoses. When for the first time in the doctor’s office it sounds - "we suspect that you have cancer." The first thing that comes to mind - it may not be that someone mixed up something, the tests did not come mine. Something got mixed up in the lab, and it’s no wonder, with so many patients. The denial stage lasts quite a long time. Usually it all depends on the diagnosis, and the location of the tumor, the number of examinations. Simply put, the stage of denial, in which you look for many excuses, and strangely enough, they are, lasts until the moment when in the doctor’s office you do not hear the final diagnosis.
Almost immediately, denial is replaced by shock. Most people don’t understand what’s going on, everything around them seems like a bad dream, and it’s not just words taken from a soap opera and said with pictorially closed eyes, it really is. Oncology? No, it can’t be with me! I led a proper life, practically did not break the commandments, did not smoke, did not drink, and periodically, and maybe even constantly played sports, ate right (emphasis added). Shock and denial are inextricably linked, they are always together. At this point, the cancer patient needs support from relatives and friends, which is initially expressed in the analysis of life, all sins and so on. Do not be surprised by aggression and irritation, or, conversely, complete isolation, so it will be. It’s not so easy to find out that you have been sentenced to death. The behavior of annoying relatives, which will help to cheer up the patient or, conversely, will not touch him, at this stage can be considered in two ways. With excessive support, you will have to face a wave of aggression and irritation, so dear loved ones - do not be offended or upset. In that case, if you do not touch the cancer patient, and leave him for a while to think and realize what is happening - it can be regarded as indifference. Which is also not very good. We will have to find the middle ground. and leave him to think for a while and realize what is happening - this can be seen as indifference. Which is also not very good. We will have to find the middle ground. and leave him to think for a while and realize what is happening - this can be seen as indifference. Which is also not very good. We will have to find the middle ground.
Anger and rage.
"Why me?"
This is the next stage. The question "why me?" - one of the most frequently asked questions, to which, unfortunately, there is no answer.
If relatives or loved ones think that the stage of depression is the most difficult, nothing like that. The next stage is the stage of anger. The cancer patient begins to blame everyone and everything in their deplorable condition: all nuclear power plants with their explosions, nuclear weapons tests, drugs, all carcinogens, factory emissions and more. It’s all the fault of those around you who fall under the hot hand. Anger, at first impossible to control. It is not uncommon for relatives and parents to blame for everything, especially if there have been cases of the disease in the family. It is known that the predisposition to the disease is inherited, and the fault of the parents is that, in the opinion of the patient, no measures have been taken to diagnose the disease early.
Doctors themselves are often blamed when no symptoms were found at the annual check-ups, and there was no suspicion of the disease. Let’s not blame the soul - all the medical examinations that take place do not always give results. Inspections are carried out according to one scenario - are there any complaints? No. Well, no, and no court. But that doesn’t mean the doctors are to blame. Oncologists, chemotherapists and radiologists are a special category of doctors.
In addition, all socially disadvantaged people, alcoholics, drug addicts, people who have crossed the line of the law become objects of hatred. Why are they all right, and I, leading a healthy and righteous lifestyle, have such a diagnosis ?! Where is the justice?
Usually the stage of anger does not last long, so doctors do not allow it to develop, as there is a detailed examination, then surgery is scheduled. It is precisely these circumstances that support the new stage - the stage of "begging" or "trading".
Auction.
"If only I get cured…" Strange
name of the stage, but it best reflects the essence of what is happening. At this stage, the patient decides to change his life.
At this stage, the cancer patient begs for "extra" years of life. You can ask for the years of life from anyone: from the Almighty, the doctor, yourself, your body. Who cares.
Basically, begging is related to taking some unusual drugs, or giving up something. For example, asking a doctor for health and extra years of life in case of taking sharpened shark cartilage or something like that. There are many options, and from the outside they seem absurd. We should not forget that the attitude to life of a cancer patient is changing.
This stage of psychological development of a cancer patient is used by various fraudsters who promise recovery, of course for a tidy sum… It only from the outside seems crazy and complete madness when sick people and their relatives turn to various magicians and sorcerers for treatment, while refusing medical care…
Depression. After the stage of trade has passed, and the patient understands that bargaining, nothing will happen, comes depression. With it comes the realization of what exactly happened.
"I’m in despair…"
Usually at this stage there is an active treatment with radiation and chemotherapy. Appearance changes, and the general state of health leaves much to be desired. It is the presence of a large amount of hair on the bed, constant nausea, lack of appetite, weight loss, etc. lead to the final understanding of what is happening. And of course (don’t blame yourself), we all know what it can lead to in the end. But, again, this is no reason to give up.
Unfortunately, not everyone understands this, or, having understood, they give up… The cancer patient is tired of fighting for his life, he is tired of being a burden for relatives and friends. Even cancer patients have their "lucky ones" who have not experienced wild pains, they are usually enough for longer. Cancer patients with constant pain, forced to "sit" on strong painkillers, or even drugs, simply can not continue to fight alone. The support of relatives is especially needed here.
Acceptance.
"I realize…"
Awareness and acceptance are different concepts and stages. Awareness of your condition helps you see and choose your path more clearly. Acceptance makes the fight easier. Few people dare to accept the disease and not hang up their noses and continue to fight for the most valuable thing a person has - life, whatever it may be. Even if it is filled with the smell of drugs, pain, and veins with needles from drips, and - pain in the eyes of relatives…
Author Lev Katkov